Vay K

Today's blog is brought to you by the letter 15 and the color invisible. Today's blog is also written in an English accent. There will be no attempt to write with an English accent but I wanted you to know that my internal voice, that the doctor says is becoming much stronger and scares him, decided to dictate this blog in an English accent.

Blair and I officially have a honeymoon booked (officially is not entirely accurate because i have submitted payment but not received confirmation yet, that is suppose to come tomorrow). We will be traveling to tropical Omaha,Nebraska. Ok, totally joking. I wish I new somebody from Omaha so they could get mad that their city is a joke and then I would be like "Well, it is" then punch them in the face. But if it was a girl I wouldn't punch her in the face, I would spray her with a whole bottle of axe spray that way everyone would think she was a freak and random mobs of girls would attack her and rip her clothes off like in the commercials.

Back to the subject, Blair and i will be renting a small country in central america. The bad economy is very unfortunate but great for purchasing timeshares from governments. We were going to go to Texas but then I remembered that it wasn't in central america but just looked like it because it bordered Mexico. Instead we will be traveling to Costa Rica. I will make sure to blog every five minutes while we are there because I plan on paying a local kid to follow me around and type out every word I speak. This will almost be like mind blogging which was something that I patented a couple of years ago and plan to enforce my patent if ever challenged. The reason I mention all this is because it is 6 months before you will need to be fluent in Costa Rican. Thats what the kid that I am paying speaks and more importantly types. It will also be what the monkey I steal will most likely type. This is an important detail because the monkey will be writing my blogs as soon as we get back.

Example monkey blog:
Inner voice imagines strong mexican accent like the Jalapeno on a stick.
"Man, what a long day. I rode Roxie, Matt and Blair's Lab mix, around the house all day like a Vaquero. And then when my master gets home he makes me type these stupid blogs. He then mocks me like I am a gorilla by scratching his armpits and dancing around with high knees. After that he takes two bananas, peels them, hands me one, and cheers them like they were late night alcohol caps. I am then dressed in my one piece pajamas with footies and a button up butt flap and Matt tucks me into a empty tissue box in his half opened sock drawer. I guess life isn't so bad but I plan to run away to Omaha,Nebraska where I hear it is extremely lame."

Thats all folks.