Son of a Beach

First off, we must acknowledge my incredible creativity to be the first person to use the play on words "Son of a Beach". Genius! I can't believe no one else has ever thought of this. I must be blowing your mind. Now that you have probably recovered from that moment of awe let me apologize for the personal bragging that I may do in my posts. I look up to myself so I have to build myself up to be a better person than I am. To the meat of this thing:

Today I was blessed to be invited to the beach by some coworkers. I am blessed because I live 5 minutes from the beach and I finally had something to do other than sit on my couch and watch sports on TV (ironic side note, I am now back home laying on my couch and watching NBA playoffs). While we were at the beach a group of drunk people stretched out a large roll of plastic and created a slip-n-slide into the ocean. This quickly turned into the main entertainment on the beach. As we and 50 other beach goers gathered around, the limelight caused the slip-n-sliders to step up their game. We now had a human bowling lane with audience gutters and it wasn't long before people were the pins at the end of the lane. Drunk people should not be running down slippery surfaces. Girls were falling left and right. Guys who were made of nothing but muscle were riding other muscle-heads like surfboards (this was by far the most applauded move). Every once and a while people would forget that when they slid in large groups that they all ended up slamming into each other at the other end. This created one of those moments that you knew someone was going to get hurt but you couldn't look away. That brings us to the last slider. A young guy that seemed to be too drunk to walk decided to run instead. As he went into the classic rocker slide both his knees dug into the sand below causing his forward moment to shift into a full out face plant. After the intial gasp from the crowd there was relief as we realized he was too drunk to get hurt. That relief turned into laughter as he fell in the following two attempts to get up. The laughes were probably encouraged due to the fall exposing his bare butt smiling to the crowd. This was the straw that broke the lifeguards back, he finally broke out of his amazed spectator position and realized it was his job to break this event up.

What did this teach me today:
1)People love to watch other people get hurt as long as it isn't permanent damage. It's like the classic "America's Funniest Home Videos" where dad always gets hit in the crotch. A classic laugh each time as long as you aren't that dad.

2)Drunk people have an amazing ability to sacrifice bodily harm to avoid spilling a classic american beer or drop a classy cigarette. Even the guy who's extreme face plant ended the cirque du soleil of drunks had his beer and cigerrete intact when he finally recovered from his total of 3 falls.